Saying Goodbye
by JoDiNe
Summary: Looking Back To Look Forward Then Saying Goodbye & Moving On!!! Please Review
1. Saying Goodbye

I looked at him at that moment and my heart almost broke. He was how he had always dreamed of being and yet he would always be the same to me. Looking to his side, I saw a figure I had not seen for a very long time. In some ways she at that moment had everything I had ever wanted on earth. Love, friends and happiness.  
  
When she arrived I thought she had wanted to step into my shoes. But it turns out she just wanted to say goodbye and let bygones be bygones. When everything happened so quickly, I felt confused. But now I know that in some way, some lives are forever entwined. Certain people destined to be together. Fate. Angel and Buffy's relationship down to the last stroke.  
  
Although now standing at the last place I'll ever be, I realize that I too have a path to take, a path to discover and a new world to be a part of. Taking a deep breath I slowly take a last look at my friends.  
  
Fred and Gunn, two wonderful characters full of love and life, peacefully standing side by side, hands entwined, standing silent yet strong.  
  
Wesley, taller than usual, handsome and brave standing separately staring soulfully into the wind, whispering the odd word here and there.  
  
Angel his face a mixture of emotion. All his dreams had come true. His soul was anchored and he was a human. A human with the ability to love and to walk in the sun. Next to him Buffy, (the petite blonde that had always had his heart) stood supporting him and holding his hand as some form of comfort.  
  
And then there was me again, standing in the distance, a little behind them, near the trees that stood tall and graceful in the breeze. I smile slightly as I feel a hand brush against my shoulder. I know who it is.  
  
"Ready?" I look into the eyes of another of my friends. One I haven't seen for a long time. Only this time I see more than friendship. I see something that seemed to of always been there, yet when I knew him, I never saw it. Something, which was never given a chance on earth.  
  
I take his outstretched hand and smile, "I've been ready for a lifetime."  
  
"Are you sure?" He asks me as uncertain as ever, looking at me in a way that I couldn't hide my emotions from him.  
  
Looking at him I know what I have to do and as I look back to my friends again I let go of his hand. Stepping quickly over the grass I walk to Angel's side, a place that I had felt safe and grew accustomed to over the years. Standing on tiptoes I place a kiss on his cheek and softly whisper into his ear everything I wanted and needed him to know.  
  
"Be happy Angel. Be happy being human and do everything you've ever dreamed of doing. Have kids, have a good life, don't brood and always, always remember me. I love you, thank you for everything."  
  
Walking back to the place I had stood watching my friends, I smile and with tears in my eyes I feel complete. Looking at the friend that had come to meet me I reply to his previous question easily.  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
Placing one hand over my own he kisses my forehead and I know that the place I am going will be full of peace.  
  
"I love you Cordy." He says looking into my eyes and smiling gently.  
  
As he said the three words that he thought I could never say back, he places a soft kiss on my lips. Exactly the same as he had the last time I had saw him, only this time when we broke apart there was no need for him too run and there was no need for tears, as once again he was leaving but this time I was going with him.  
  
"I love you too Doyle." I replied as we left, "I love you too." 


	2. The Gift

As he stared at the grave he felt his heart start beating and he knew the final step had come. Only it had come at the worst possible moment, and the emotion he had tried to block out for all his years of life, came rushing to his eyes in the form of tears. Buffy squeezed his hand, there was nothing she could do for him, his best friend was gone and there was no cure for heartbreak.  
  
Did you feel that?" Angel asked looking at Buffy quickly, "It was her." He felt his cheek and glanced around him, but saw nothing. "Angel it wasn't." Buffy made him look at her, "She's gone." "No Buffy," Wesley replied looking up, "She'll never be gone." He opened his jacket and quickly took out the package she had asked him to give to Angel, he handed it over and smiled. "I hope some day, you can forgive me like she did." Wesley said and then dropping a single white rose onto the grave he walked slowly away. Looking down at the package, Angel ran his fingers over the ribbon tying it together. "I'll be waiting in the car," Buffy said sensing his need to be alone and she joined Gunn and Fred on their walk towards the exit of the graveyard. Staring at the grave Angel noticed that Fred and Gunn had placed several white roses at the heath of the grave as well as Wesley's. Sitting at the foot of the tree next to the grave, he opened the package. Inside were a journal, a letter & a box. He opened the letter first,  
  
To My Darling Angel, Nearly all my life I have never been myself around people. Placing a shield between them, and myself and being the one and only Queen C. You have shown me that to lead my life to the fullest, I have to accept my situation and be true to myself. Writing this letter to you has been the hardest part of leaving. As for three years you have been my best friend and yet for a year of our friendship I hid the fact that my body was dying. I was given a chance because of you Angel. A chance to become someone, something. A higher being. Someone to watch over the good of the world and make sure they succeed. So that's where Il'l be Angel, watching over you and the others. I'll always be around and I'll always be there. For your centuries of torture you receive a gift from me. It has been a long road on your path to redeem yourself in the eyes of others, and to become something other than an evil demon with a soul. So from me Angel you receive the gift of life. The gift of humanity. A gift for you to use to the fullest as you so often taught me to do. You need to love and live at the same time. Be a part of the world, not just a being that lives within it. Your pain has been rewarded my friend and now you become human. This does not mean your powers are stripped from you like before. Your strength is still as strong as it was in your vampire form, it simply means you can walk in the sun and if you choose, live an evil free life. Now I must go. Remember I'll be watching from Afar. Be Happy Angel. Be Happy. With Eternal Love Cordy  
  
He folded the carefully wrote letter and a tear rolled down his cheek. He flipped open the journal, and realised it was from back in high school. He turned to the page before the last and it spoke of the night before the party she had been to in L.A. The very last page she had wrote in held three lines of writing in the middle of the pages;  
  
A New Life For Me Has Begun in L.A. It's A New Beginning In The City of Angels. I Have Truly Been Saved By An Angel.  
  
Tears now flooding his face he opened the box and his heart broke as he saw a plain silver cross and on its back an A was engraved carefully.  
  
His instincts made him flinch as he touched the cross, but as he put it on, he smiled at the grave and slowly standing with the journal and letter under one arm he reached into his pocket and pulled out a present that he had been planning to give to her. Placing the gift at the bottom of the grave he moved the flowers and scattered them over her final resting place and with peace in his heart. He made his way out of the graveyard and towards his future. 


	3. Roses, Sentiment & A Cross

As the couple passed the gravestones they smiled and pointed out the beautiful quotes on every one. When they reached one that was situated within the heart of the graveyard they smiled at the grave that was obviously only a couple of weeks set, and it seemed there had been frequent visitors because of the freshly lain white roses scattered over the bed.  
  
In Loving Memory of Cordelia Chase May your memory never be forgotten A True Princess, Seer & Friend R.I.P  
  
Taking in the loving words encrypted on the gravestone, the woman saw a small something glinting in the sunlight and walked closer to see what was laid at the bottom of the gravestone. Smiling she picked up a beautiful cross that was encrusted with crystals, on a long chain. She laughed slightly recognising it as one she had seen several weeks before and placed it around her neck. Walking back to the man she placed an arm around his waist and he kissed her forehead. "I love you Cordy." The man said as they began to disappear. "I love you too Doyle." She replied with the cross still hung around her neck delicately, "I love you too." 


End file.
